That's not me.

That's not me there, in that picture, next to my husband and surrounded by my children. That woman is pasty and tired looking. Who does she think she is, taking over my family like that?

I heard about an interesting study last week, on the radio. People were photographed, and shown the photographs two different ways. One photograph was 'kindly enhanced', while the other photograph remained untouched. People were 20% more likely to pick the "kindly enhanced" photo as being the one they believed was their actual photo.

What does that say about us as human beings? Are we looking into our mirrors every day with rose colored glasses? Or are we just not looking into our mirrors every day? What's more, is this a healthy point of view, this way of imagining ourselves to be more attractive than we really are? Or is the distortion problematic?

The other day my husband caught me in a vulnerable position. I had just gotten dressed and I was straining over my shoulder to catch a glimpse of my backside in the mirror. Not only did I have to make sure it was all still there, but I wanted to make sure its bags weren't packed for Mexico. Satisfied with my assessment, I turned back around to find my husband giggling at me. "You don't see guys doing stuff like that," he gleefully pointed out. Then he demonstrated the absurdity of such a thing. Indeed, he looked ridiculous. But what's a girl to do? We must look our best, at all times, and apparently even that is not enough, since this latest study tells us that the mirror is lying and we're actually 20% uglier than we thought we were when we left the house.

Let's take a minute and get serious. Look at the flip side of this issue - distorting one's own image from positive to negative. Anorexia. Body dysmorphic disorder. Obsessions with plastic surgery. How and why does this happen? Is this a self esteem issue, or does it go deeper? Could it be a distraction from unresolved complex personal problems? What can be done for someone who suffers with the pain of experiencing themselves as un-presentable to society? The media certainly doesn't help. I'd dare say that the internet and pervasiveness of pornography has created quite a standard of what body beauty is supposed to be. Sad, really....

Those who struggle with their appearance to the point that it is interfering with their lives and their relationships, or is putting their physical or mental/emotional health at risk, should know that there is help available. Cognitive therapies and some antidepressant medications can help people release some of the obsession with appearance and allow them to more fully function in their lives.

As for those who live in the clouds, thinking they have been mysteriously replaced by trolls in the family photos, I'm right there with you.